Unkle Munky Pg 101
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky is listening to Glasvegas... Artist - Glasvegas. Song - Geraldine. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- Aimless. James from Kent says - Dear Unkle Munky, I am a big fan of beating around the bush. With this in mind I have decided to wander aimlessly around an English country garden before asking my question. Unkle Munky says -''' What the fuc..? *James from Kent, searching for a bush. ---- Sign of the Crimes. Ben from Findern asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I recently got burgled within twenty fours hours of affixing a 'No Burgling' sign to my front door. Can I make a claim? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Ben, The only claim open to you on this occasion is one of complete stupidity. Now, if you do not mind, I have a 'No sexy ladies' sign to erect. Good day! ---- Getting your Oats. Ryan from Hampton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My girlfriend has suggested that we introduce food into our sex life. I was wondering if you had any ideas as to what might be suitable. 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Ryan, Introducing food as a sexual aid is fraught with danger. I feel that it is my duty to warn you of the pitfalls regarding this course of action. I myself am currently under investigation for accidentally inflicting third degree burns upon an ex. I would definitely recommend that you steer well clear of porridge. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer god's sake!'' ---- Bungle's Barely News. *''Bungle Bear - Barely News - Getting on the Pm's tits.'' ---- Amy Knitwear. 'Unkle Munky says -' Who the... What the... Why the...? ---- Munky Memo. *Ref. Loitering badger. ''Dear Unkle Munky, Why is there a badger sitting in reception?'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Ms. Sickness, The badger of whom you speak has been invited to Munky HQ by my good self. He will be helping me to research a question posed by one of our more... industrious readers. ---- Badger Baiting. Stuart from Lucan asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have recently moved into a very old cottage. There are numerous skirting boards, doors and window frames to paint. They all require extensive preparation and it is costing me a fortune in heavy duty sandpaper. With this in mind, I was wondering if there is any truth behind the phrase - 'As rough as a badger's arse'? ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Dear Stuart, Munky is unable to answer your question at the moment as he is currently waiting for a tetanus injection at our local Accident and Emergency unit.'' ---- More Bungling News from Bungle the Bear. *''Bungle Bear - Barely News - Asking the questions that matter!'' ---- Munky Doesn't Have a Clue. Ben from Findern asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Further to my correspondence regarding the recent burglary at my home. This morning I found a shiny black button in the hallway. I am certain that said item does not belong to me. Shall I go to the police? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Ben, I admire your honesty with regards to said button, especially after what you have been through. I would suggest on this occasion, however, that you keep this particular find to yourself. After all, returning such an insignificant item to its rightful owner is unlikely to rank as a very high priority for our boys and girls in blue. Ben replies - Oh fer god's sake! I was talking from an investigative point of view, Munky! The button might belong to the person who broke into my home. You really are shit at this agony business! ---- In the Closet. John from Bingley asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I recently discovered a naked man in my girlfriend's wardrobe! I am outraged beyond belief. What course of action would you recommend? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear John, For a start I would suggest that you calm down. After all, it's not as if you found him in her bed. John replies - Oh fer god's sake! *The NEW admiral wardrobe from The Legacy Range. Fits three men (naked or otherwise). ---- Crime Watch mUnKy. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's Gothic assistant) asks - Have you seen a black button anywhere, Munky? My goth doll appears to have lost an eye.''' '''Unkle Munky says -' No, Mary. I can't say that I have. ---- Bungle's Barely News. ---- Next... Previous... Munky's Memos... Return to Munky Menu...